Coming home

It’s funny being back at my home studio after holidays. It’s a nice ‘homecoming’ to be with my regular teacher again, in a familiar space, and catching up with yogi friends. But the pause, the distance, changes everything. For a while at least. I’m seeing things afresh. I’m more aware of old habits as I encounter them anew. Not always comfortable viewing, but the in-sight is a gift and something to be grateful for. So much opportunity. So much to witness and learn from.

Given that my practices on holiday were mostly solitary, being in a busy studio is also a little overwhelming. I’ve been trying to embrace that with friendly conversations before and after class, instead of wanting to retreat into my yogic focus. Engagement not withdrawal, participant not just witness. I love my yoga crew so maybe I need to show them a little of how much I value them and what they unknowingly offer me.

I also had a bit of a ‘back to school’ feeling. People filing up and down the stairs, queuing outside the yoga room, gathering the paraphernalia they want for class. And the vocabulary of class and teacher, of learning and paying attention. What will I learn today? I was never this eager and receptive at school where the dichotomy of right and wrong stiffled exploration and playfulness, where authority and respect were imposed rather than earned.

At the studio I’m struck by the sense of community my teacher generates. He is primus inter pares, leading our practice yet also participating in it, seemingly at one with everyone in the room. I think he’s mastered that siddhi of being able to move through time and space — how else can he attend to so many students around the room with such intricacy and attention to detail apparently simultaneously? He was clearly under-prepared for evening teaching after a day of TT, and it was fascinating to watch him reading his own body and the energy of the room and literally feeling his way into the flow alongside us. Whatever the formal teaching of class might have been, this was the lesson for me: how to ground oneself and become fully present through breath awareness and bodily movement and then allow everything to expand out from that. Freedom flowing up from secure foundations. There was a dance throughout class of formal and informal shapes, of moving in unision and in exploring our individual rhythms. It was poetry in motion.

I slept like a baby afterwards. Perhaps even my jetlag knows that we’re really home now.

3 thoughts on “Coming home

  1. A beautiful post that I had somehow missed! Your teacher sounds incredible. To be comfortable enough to sink into the depths of our own awareness and that of those we are with and let teaching emerge from that space… wow. I am ever the “classroom English teacher” needing to have a detailed lesson plan, theme, etc… Not that this is bad – but it can prevent me sometimes from truly listening and observing what’s happening around me. As I move into a new year of yoga teaching this September, I will keep your teacher’s method in mind and body. (But I’ll still have those lesson plans!! Not quite ready to let go of that yet!)

    Liked by 1 person

    • Glad you enjoyed reading, k8. Thank you so much for commenting.
      Yes, you know I think he’s incredible! I learn so much each class…
      And I so know what you mean about class plans and themes etc — it’s my nature too! But so much of yoga for me is about learning to hold less tightly, trust myself more, be more content with the contingencies of the moment instead of trying to control everything. Scary enough, but in a teaching context….!?

      Liked by 1 person

      • Yeah! Scary enough to embody this attitude as a student… But I believe that the teachers who can somehow do this are able to work with the energy that is arising and move it in a profitable direction. Still amazes me…

        Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s