I don’t like being told off. “Don’t shout at me” I often say to my husband. “I’m not shouting” he usually retorts and at some volume. He’s from a more adversarial family than I am, whereas when I was a child, we never raised our voices. Ever. Well, I did as a teenager.... But I... Continue Reading →
Support network
A support network can be really.... well, supportive! I'm not a big one for sharing all the details of my life (anonymous blog, geddit?) and I can in fact go a bit the other way and tend towards isolation in my liking for privacy. Privacy is kind of comfortable; there's no accountability in secrecy, no... Continue Reading →
Moments of disbelief
My class laughed when I said I was going to miss them while I'm away for a few weeks. They often laugh incredulously at the things I say. They don't believe that I will actually miss them, just as they don't believe that teaching times are my favourite times of the working week, that I... Continue Reading →
Dormouse yoga
Many years ago my mum gave me a postcard with a picture of a dormouse on it with the message "do not disturb". It was kind of a family joke, the amount of time I spent curled up in bed. Then I was sick and just trying to rest. I couldn't face being part of... Continue Reading →
Ineffable
I'm reeling. Not just wobbly from physical fatigue as muscles I didn't know I had assert themselves with increasing soreness. I'm also reeling mentally from so many new ideas and possibilities... I'm just back from a weekend of workshops which involved some of the most physically intense asana and pranayama practice I've ever attempted, some... Continue Reading →
(Yoga) Hall of mirrors
That metaphor about the teacher holding a mirror to your practice? I always dread that he'll do it literally one day, knowing my reluctance towards seeing myself practice. Ever since I heard Kathryn Budig talk about her teacher making her practise in shorts rather than leggings as a way of challenging her body issues, I fear... Continue Reading →
Coming home
It's funny being back at my home studio after holidays. It's a nice 'homecoming' to be with my regular teacher again, in a familiar space, and catching up with yogi friends. But the pause, the distance, changes everything. For a while at least. I'm seeing things afresh. I'm more aware of old habits as I... Continue Reading →
Larkin’ about with my mum and dad
They fuck you up, your mum and dad. They may not mean to, but they do. They fill you with the faults they had And add some extra, just for you. It's really unfortunate that Philip Larkin's words are echoing round in my head after a weekend with my parents! It seems super-ungrateful,... Continue Reading →
The universe offers, believe it or not
In one of our assessments in TT we were given a sutra from Patañjali at random (we picked blindly out of a box) and we had to present it to the group a day or two later. The process of receiving a sutra was almost as interesting as the presentations themselves. I was struck by how... Continue Reading →
Lost for words
My teacher's just come back after some time off sick. He'd lost his voice. I asked him if he'd meditated on the ill-health and learned anything from that! I was being ironic or teasing a little: he asked me to do just this after an injury many months ago, and it was simultaneously the most... Continue Reading →