“We’re better prepared this time”. I keep hearing people say this as England has returned to some sort of lockdown status. There’s a weariness and a resignation this time round. Less fear perhaps, despite the rising numbers of cases and deaths and the doomy predications about the resilience of the NHS. Even so, the situation is not so unknown now, and that’s what we fear the most I think.
I’m not sure I’m personally feeling any more resilient than I was the last time round. As we head towards winter, under normal circumstances my energy levels go down and I am apt to slip into bad habits around self-care. And the restrictions of lockdown aren’t exactly mood-enhancing. But each year I learn a bit more about myself, I get a bit better at asking for help, picking up early signs that I need to make some changes. Learning is circular, not linear, and I no longer expect myself not to make any mistakes or regressions. I just try to get a little better at anticipating or recovering when I go off track.
Since energy, or lack of, is my biggest fear after years with CFS-ME, I’m trying to set myself up well. I’m in a good place in terms of physical nourishment and Hubby knows how to tempt me if my appetite flags. I’m keeping my yoga teaching load light so I don’t get too depleted from this on top of office work. I’m coming to the end of all the yoga courses and trainings I’d impulsively booked. Just two more Sanskrit classes to go. Then there are a few nice (online) treats that are offered monthly which are something to look forward to, as they are all with teachers I know and love and feel really comfortable with.
My local teacher loaned me something to amuse me during the next month: these little hand bars to practise my handstand on. It’s a different relationship with the wrist and tricky to get used to, so I’m currently a bit circumspect, but I will take it slowly and see if they are helpful. The physical object is at least a reminder of the more athletic part of my practice, and takes me back to my summer yoga in the earlier lockdown. Then I consciously practised with awareness of building physical strength, being adventurous with new shapes, laughing a lot at the challenge and keeping a sense of fun! I will try to keep that spirit alight during the darker months.
I also got some snazzy flashing armbands for running in the dark so I can keep up with my weekly short run more safely. If I can keep my body moving I know my energy will be more stable. And because I’m a good yogi and know it’s all about balance, I’m also upping my restorative practice and allowing myself to rest. I’m taking some nice long savasanas with all the blankets and coziness I can offer myself.
It’s beginning to sound like some sort of plan 🙂 Maybe I too am more prepared this time around!