Moving and shaking

I trust my teacher. So when he gave me a ball at the start of our yoga session together I tried to go with it — even though ‘it’ was an excruciatingly awkward exploration of shoulder and hip mobility and how to connect the two. The ball balancing aspect added challenge, or focus, or maybe... Continue Reading →

Vaccination joy

Hubby and I got our first vaccine two days ago. Astra Zeneca, our least preferred option, but it’s not a time to act all choosy and I am truly grateful for this. But the 48 hours following were not physically pleasant. Alternating sweats and chills, dizziness and nausea, depleted energy levels, brain fog, muscle and... Continue Reading →

Love from the inside out

Until relatively recently I used to watch myself practise and not recognise myself. Who was that strong girl who moved through vinyasas with grace and ease? Where was the girl with dark rings of exhaustion under her eyes, the unwashed hair (simply too much effort), and the cautious movements that anticipated pain and weakness in... Continue Reading →

Lockdown 2.0

“We’re better prepared this time”. I keep hearing people say this as England has returned to some sort of lockdown status. There’s a weariness and a resignation this time round. Less fear perhaps, despite the rising numbers of cases and deaths and the doomy predications about the resilience of the NHS. Even so, the situation... Continue Reading →

Rupture and continuity

One of my best friends nearly died recently. A ruptured appendix, a bungled diagnosis and delayed surgery. I've been visiting her in hospital, feeling helpless in the face of drips, oxygen, and the indignity of surgical gowns. She was weak and confused. I'm not sure she remembered if I'd been with her or not; she... Continue Reading →

No feeling is final

“Go to the limits of your longing... Let everything happen to you: beauty and terror. Just keep going. No feeling is final” (Rilke) Practice at the moment is an experience of longing. I feel a deep yearning to be more fully with myself, to let go of the past, to feel the reality of the... Continue Reading →

A quiet revolution

I saw my physio again today for my rotator cuff injury. We've been working on this together for 5 months or so. I find these appointments really interesting. They become a ground for self-observation as much as āsana practice or meeting with my yoga teacher are. When I first needed physio appointments I was not... Continue Reading →

Running wild

When I first started Rolfing, my homework was about skipping and leaping, encouraging me to find a bit of joy in simple movements. I did my best, feeling a little foolish, needing to force the movements rather than finding them arising naturally. More recently my Rolfing homework has been about my effervescent ears. Same underlying... Continue Reading →

Jumping for joy

Rolfing is an odd process. It takes me by surprise over and over: how I feel in my body, what I learn, what I talk about with my Rolfer, and how endlessly wise she seems so me -- yet how subtly she conveys her teaching, through her fingertips and quiet patience with me as much... Continue Reading →

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