Anticipation and relief

It feels like a day of collective pausing in anticipation: internationally awaiting results of the US presidential elections and in England it’s the first day of a new month-long lockdown. The outcomes of these circumstances is uncertain, but so much hangs on them. It feels almost as though the future of humanity is at stake.

And in my individual life it’s also been a time of holding my breath in anticipation. I’ve been waiting for my mum to call. She was in hospital yesterday having some tests done and I was not confident about the outcome. I am so relieved that it turned out better than I expected, with some upcoming surgery required, yes, but a good prognosis overall. I’ll count that as a good result!

Yesterday was also a day of sliding in a last in-person session with my teacher before the studio has to close for the lockdown. Time with my teacher also puts me in a strange place, as he has a unique perspective on where I’ve come from, perhaps also some idea where I might be heading on my path. I am full of anticipation and uncertainty about the future; he is content to meet me where I am right now.

My practice has been really patchy since we last met, and I got a short, calm email reply to my anticipatory fretting: “No worries on ‘progress’. Arrive with whatever is presenting.”

And just like that another wave of relief. I don’t have to be anything other than I am. I don’t have to perform or achieve or meet any expectations — other than my own.

Finally I allow myself an exhale, a small letting go of future worries.

[photos from the summer past]

2 thoughts on “Anticipation and relief

Add yours

  1. And as your studio locks down, I think my community centre might be opening up again Monday! (I am waiting for official word from the centre.) Open, close – up, down… we never know what is around the next corner, it would seem.
    The world of samsara!
    Love from here to there – !
    xo

    Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

WordPress.com.

Up ↑

Josephine Corcoran

diary, notebook, photos

Random Musings

A little bit of this, and a little piece of that!

Anthony Wilson

Lifesaving Poems

Lasta

For whatever lights you up.

Beginner's Mind

Introduction to mindfulness, based in Huddersfield

mettatsunami

Tales from the inner and outer world

Views from the Podium

A Blog. A Book. A Yoga Community.

Peregrine's Progress

Books, Cinema, Food, Photography, Theatre and Travel

Brooklyn Mellows

Coffee, Kirtan, Comics, Counterculture

Radical Yoga

with Colin Hall

The everyday vegetarian UK

Recipes, reviews and musings of a vegetarian in meat fuelled world

musingnude

prose and poetry

flossyfeet

Turning left up the road less travelled..

Vegan Gypsy Tales

For a kinder, happier, healthier life

From Outside The Mall

Celebrations. Lamentations. Stories. Strategies. Humor. Heartbreak. Love. Loss. Dementia. Mental Health. Social Work. Personal. Political. Views. News. Poems. Prose. Anecdotes. Made up notes.

brighidsdaughter.wordpress.com/

Writing, Poetry, Wandering: Walking The Path of Writer & Witch.

Aarna Yoga

Journey to Strength

%d bloggers like this: