I’ve seen a couple of news items recently about Chronic Fatigue Syndrome. Two different research teams coming up with different hypotheses about what triggers abnormal fatigue. Both firm in their message that this is a physiological, not psychological, condition. There’s even some hint of a drug treatment… perhaps. The New Scientist piece was even accompanied by a photo of a tired man seated at a table, instead of the usual young girl resting prettily on a sofa in coordinated loungewear. So things are moving on all round!
It’s the sort of stuff that once I would have pored over and followed up any references to The Lancet or whatnot, desperate for understanding and for validation. Now it kind of interested me momentarily and then I moved on, pausing only for this little reflection on what’s changed. Greater physical resilience means that I don’t need these answers, these new medical facts. But also I hope I’m beginning to let go of this being a defining feature about me. I don’t see myself this way so much any more. I am someone who gets tired, not someone who is tired. I’m someone who takes responsibility for looking after herself, not someone who feels chronically restricted.
That said, it’s slightly tough going at the moment and I’m keeping a gentle eye on myself. I’m treading a balance of testing myself and seeing what I can really do if I drop the assumptions and inhibitions — but without actually tipping too far. I’m deliberately stretching my asana practice a little, but in order to do so I am napping before class and tucking up for a while after home practice. It’s a compensatory strategy, making up for extra energy use, trying to ensure equilibrium overall. Resting postures are important too. Vīrasana after standing sequence maybe, Balāsana following inversions. My yoga practice spills off the mat…. and onto the sofa!