Affirmative

A quick word from my TT whirlwind, to capture a moment, although I am too tired for careful words. Stay with me, dear readers.

So many affirmatives these past few days:

You are beautiful. Your meditation really moved me. I enjoyed the poem you read. I love it when you leave your hair down. The colour pink really suits you [actually I can hardly bear to report that one! 🙂 ]. Thank you for crying today: you gave me permission to feel what I was feeling, it was so beautiful and brave. You sounded as though you’ve been teaching yoga for several years. Those cues were really wonderful for me. You are so sensitive; thank you for noticing how I was feeling. I need to be next to you in class: I want to feel your energy. You have a beautiful aura. When I come into the studio and see your smile, it makes me so happy. Your voice is so calm.

For me this is an overwhelming abundance of comments, it feels like a ceaseless observation of my inner and outer state. So much love that seems so natural within the yoga space, but is at odds with my regular experience of the world.

And I was undone this morning by the teacher reading a quote. I forget the words, but the message was one of manifesting greatness, both for ourselves and for what it offers others. It was some variation on the message in the words of Rumi he often quotes, words that terrify and exhilarate me: “Stop acting so small. You are the universe in ecstatic motion.”

Seeking a small breathing space between sessions today, I found myself in the studio alone. I sat at the front and looked out across the empty space, imagining it filling up with beautiful students. With my students. Perhaps one day. I start to confront the notion that I could do this. That it’s OK to want to do this. I dare to dream…. With a little help from my yoga friends!