Stick to the script?

It’s been a day of scripts. Several hours in the office toiling at my day job that this afternoon meant sorting out a script for regression testing a website. It’s super-boring work, I have to say. When I test I prefer to do it more intuitively starting with the most important functionality and then working my way down to some of the detail. Plus I have a great team that I can rely on to do the nitty-gritty while I take a broader overview. Lucky me! But having a script means that I can delegate better, so I just had to work through the boredom and remember the ultimate purpose.

sun saluteThen home to another script. My teacher’s given us a simple script for teaching Surya Namaskar A. First steps in TT! This script is much more exciting! It’s a nice simple thing to ease us into teaching and has stopped my anxious brain flipping out about whether I know enough, am good enough, and all those other ‘not enoughs’. My body knows this script, has moved to its silent rhythm endless times. I just need to practise verbalising it.

So now that I’ve absorbed the script and done a really gentle practice I’m settling in for a relaxed evening and some quiet contemplation of what is to come. It feels a bit like the night before my wedding! Excited anticipation; a sense of continuity and things unfolding in their natural order, but also a sense that all is changing. I am filled with wonder at the journey to this point — the hesitant steps I’ve taken each day that have brought me to this threshold.

TT good luck cardA few people have asked me this week if I’m prepared for TT. I’ve laughed! The question just doesn’t work: I would never feel prepared. But through my yoga I’ve been working on accepting the feeling of wild daring, the discomforting unknown, and the dizzying possibilities — in practice, in life, in TT!

So I’ve put the script away and I’ve opened a card that’s been sitting a few days waiting for the right moment: a message from a friend, offering some last-minute encouragement and support. And I’m listening to the Hanuman Chalisa as I write this. There are some things you can’t script and you can’t prepare for. Instead it’s time for my big leap!

Jai jai Hanuman!



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