Lighter and deeper

A young friend of mine has just bought a house with her boyfriend. To her the financial commitment of joint property ownership comes easier than the emotional commitment of getting married.

I thought this was strange. But now I wonder if it’s not as topsy-turvy as it seemed.

At my local yoga studio after an initial courtship and paying for small packs of classes, I moved to the commitment of being a full pay-monthly member. Once we were in a steady relationship this felt right. I guess the finances work out this way, but I also wanted to make a commitment to my yoga and to the studio.

rolled up matsBut now I’ve taken the extra step of signing up for mat storage. And somehow leaving a bit of my stuff at the studio feels a more significant act of trust than offering up my credit card details. Weird. It’s nothing of course, but it feels like a Thing to me. Attachment to the physical object of my mat? Nah, I don’t think it’s that. I think it’s good old Imposter Syndrome again. If I leave my mat at the studio, that suggests that I think I belong there and that I’m serious about this yoga thing. But can I be serious about yoga without being very ‘good’ at asana…? What will people think?!

I’m amused by how ridiculous this is. A situation that is entirely in my head, no-one else’s. I guess it’s just that I’ve spotted this particular bit of ego-written narrative for what it is. A made-up story. Doesn’t make it any less real in its ability to play on my emotions though. Bearing witness to my own drama makes for uncomfortable viewing. I’m undecided on its genre: tragedy or comedy?

5 thoughts on “Lighter and deeper

Add yours

  1. I love the way you put this! Commitments, however small they may seem to the outside world can be bigger on a personal level. That is why I love when there are tinier steps available as opposed to big leaps, haha, comfort zones and all that.

    Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

WordPress.com.

Up ↑

Josephine Corcoran

diary, notebook, photos

Random Musings

A little bit of this, and a little piece of that!

Anthony Wilson

Lifesaving Poems

pleated stories

saree wearing scribbler

Lasta

For whatever lights you up.

Beginner's Mind

Introduction to mindfulness, based in Huddersfield

mettatsunami

Tales from the inner and outer world

Views from the Podium

A Blog. A Book. A Yoga Community.

Peregrine's Progress

Books, Cinema, Food, Photography, Theatre and Travel

Brooklyn Mellows

Coffee, Kirtan, Comics, Counterculture

Radical Yoga

with Colin Hall

The everyday vegetarian UK

Recipes, reviews and musings of a vegetarian in meat fuelled world

musingnude

prose and poetry

flossyfeet

Turning left up the road less travelled..

Vegan Gypsy Tales

For a kinder, happier, healthier life

From Outside The Mall

Celebrations. Lamentations. Stories. Strategies. Humor. Heartbreak. Love. Loss. Dementia. Mental Health. Social Work. Personal. Political. Views. News. Poems. Prose. Anecdotes. Made up notes.

brighidsdaughter.wordpress.com/

Writing, Poetry, Wandering: Walking The Path of Writer & Witch.

Aarna Yoga

Journey to Strength

%d bloggers like this: