Asking for help

helpI think a lot of us struggle to ask for help. It’s difficult to admit you can’t handle something. This is definitely true for me. I like to think I have an inner superhero who can rise to anything.

But if asking for help is a common difficulty (among certain personality types at least), I wonder if paying for help is a peculiar difficulty for the British. Friends who are affluent enough to afford it are sometimes amazed at how much I will pay for yoga classes or a private lesson, for physio consultations, dental work, haircuts and so on. I prefer to think of these as investments in myself. Well not the haircuts maybe, unless I had an important professional gig on where appearance mattered (and to be frank my professional life is just not that glamorous!). I’m not made of money, but seeking good professional support for the things that matter to me seems a no brainer. Perhaps in Britain free healthcare has lulled us into a feeling that advice (and anything relating to health and wellbeing) should be free?

Hmm political and controversial. So back to the yoga:

I-love-my-mumI booked my mum a private yoga session with her one-time teacher. She used to go to a class, but she stopped after a while. I think she found it intimidating being called out in class by name when the teacher offered verbal instruction. She didn’t see it as attention to her wellbeing. To her it felt like censure. So I’m hoping that a more intimate setting might allow her to develop a different relationship with her teacher and with yoga. Perhaps it could enable her to see that correction is not criticism, and hopefully give her the confidence to return to class. She clearly misses yoga. I hope I’m empowering her, not steamrollering her. I’m very aware this isn’t a step she’d have taken on her own (for whatever reason).

4 thoughts on “Asking for help

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  1. It’s rather sweet that you’ve done this for your mum. I wonder – have you ever tried to lead her through a practice yourself? From previous posts I’ve gleaned that you seem to have some natural aptitude in teaching.

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    1. Yes I did some practice with my mum a few times in the past when she was also going to class, but I think now she needs more time and attention to build her confidence and patience for her own practice. And unfortunately I don’t see her often enough. But this weekend maybe… I just need to be super-careful with hips and knees.

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  2. So lovely of you to do that for your mum 🙂 asking for help is so hard for me! I only realised the extent of it when I sprained my ankle last year- accepting help from people to get around was distinctly uncomfortable for me and since then I’ve been trying to practice it more. Luckily I was living in a yoga community at the time so people made it a bit easier! Curtis actually wheelbarrowed me around the place befor we were even together which was very sweet 🙂

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    1. Wheelbarrowing — how cute! Funny how vulnerability in someone else can be very endearing (I guess it was to Curtis!), however difficult we might find it ourselves.

      And my mum has her second private this week, so clearly the first experience was OK.

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