Round about this time of year is my two year yoga anniversary. And I just found out it’s four years since my yoga studio set up business (hence their lovely give-away of 4 free passes to bring friends and rellies to class). It feels like it should be a good time for a thoughtful and serious blog post reflecting on what I’ve learned in the past two years. Or better, a gratitude-ful post acknowledging what I owe to those who teach me.
But I can’t do that.
I can’t find the words. I feel uncharacteristically quietened. Humbled even. Everything is in flux and I am just swept along. And I know I’m following in greater footsteps than I’ll ever make.
So here’s just some notes of what two years of yoga looks like for me. Yes, I realise this reads embarrassingly like one of those ’10 ways to tell if you’re a yogi’ or suchlike that do the social media rounds, but I’ve gone one better with 11 and thankfully none of them includes getting an OM tattoo:
- I now own more yoga leggings than PJs. This is BIG for me.
- My normal clothes no longer fit. Shoes too!
- I am figuring out all over again what to eat — my previous diet doesn’t fit any more either.
- But despite the weird diet, I have more energy. I regularly do a two hour class and I often steam out of bed at 6 to get to a 7am session. Goodbye Sunday lie-in and cooked brekkie — I don’t miss you.
- I can’t drink much alcohol or coffee. But somehow I rarely want to.
- These days I smile. A lot.
- I look up at the sky and the trees more. I surprised I don’t walk into things all the time. But perhaps my proprioception has also improved!
- I tell people how I feel more often — which includes embarrassing colleagues at work by telling them what a great job they’re doing. They’re mostly British, so this is ACUTELY embarrassing! Sometimes I compliment people I don’t know in shops and so on. I mean this to be friendly, not weird!
- I’ve started to worry about the health of the planet and my small patch of it, and what I might do about it.
- I like to sing in Sanskrit in the shower and when I’m bored in meetings I doodle the one letter I know how to write on my notepad (logically enough it’s ‘a’ — though I can write the long sound and the short sound! 🙂 ).
- Finally, I realise there’s not much about asana in this list (it kind of means everything or nothing to me, I can’t figure that out…), but I’ll admit I can’t help cracking a pose at odd moments. Like if I drop something on the floor, somehow it seems totally normal now to slide into Ardha Chandrasana as I reach to pick it up.
I don’t know if this will ever add up to yoga. I just know I feel vulnerable and wide-open, my protective shell is melting away. It’s scarily wonderful. It’s how my life is just now. I think my practice is just to stay open to it and see what happens. Anything is possible, nothing is certain.
I can’t imagine what my third yoga-versary will be like, but I hope I’ll still be in happy symbiosis with my studio as they turn five and my yoga practice turns three.