Awesome mindfulness

The really hard thing about mindfulness, moment to moment non-judgmental awareness, is in overcoming the over-familiar, not going on auto-pilot and missing half the story because it's so obvious it doesn't seem worth noticing. Changing some aspect, creating a different background, shakes things up and helps you notice more. I feel this in yoga asana: putting the... Continue Reading →

Crying for a qualification

Hubby is very proud of my new TT qualification. But he's ever-careful (too careful for my liking!) not to inflate my ego, so his congratulations were characteristically ironic: "Congratulations on stopping crying long enough to complete your three assessments". Many a true word spoken in jest... Yes, I did cry quite a lot on TT.... Continue Reading →

For crying out loud

We touched on crying in class recently in Teacher Training. My teacher asked me to talk about my experiences -- not about my own breakdowns (of course!) but a time when I was next to someone who was crying hard during class. No quiet weeping either, but some full-on gasping, heart-wrenching sobbing. The other student teachers asked me what I... Continue Reading →

Body of peace

My teacher came to check on me (or rather my hamstring) before class and offered some words of wisdom for my practice -- to observe, not to go deep, just to feel and explore. To this I mentally added my own intention to cultivate joy and compassion. I really appreciated his care. I felt well-looked... Continue Reading →

Yoga practice as a band aid

I have been touched by some expressions of care from readers following some recent posts where I've been confronting the fact that practice isn't always an uplifting experience and can be downright troubling. Blogging about personal experiences -- like yoga itself -- is a bit of a leap of faith. But if I'm finding something... Continue Reading →

Rollercoaster yoga

Practicing feels like a rollercoaster ride at the moment. One minute it's all hand waving and goofy grins, shrieking with excitement. The next my stomach drops out and I'm white-knuckling in fear, barely able to breathe. And then up and down again. Each practice unpredictably a peak or a trough. Because despite this disorientating unpredictability I keep... Continue Reading →

Catharsis

A wound that was left untended for years festers out of sight, pus-filled and infected. One day you unwittingly prod at it and find you take some strange pleasure in the discomfort, in really feeling the hurt as you probe how deep it runs. It opens up, spills out a little -- and it's messy. But there's... Continue Reading →

The Upward Spiral

There was a bit of reporting earlier in the year on the inter web (like this article) summarising some recent research by Alex Korb which -- as I understand it (I've not actually read it) -- he published in book form as The Upward Spiral. The book is marketed as the neuroscience of depression, but the popular reportage was entitled... Continue Reading →

What am I really hearing?

I recently read the expression 'a teacher's teacher' and I've been wondering what this means. And who it's meant to appeal to. Teachers presumably. So that they feel they're somewhere on the yoga teacher hierarchy (even non-judgemental yogis presumably have a sense of hierarchy) and are getting some superior level of teaching? I can only... Continue Reading →

Expressing happiness

I realised recently that I've developed an emotional tic of biting my lip. Not an anxiety thing, but as a way of controlling the insane grin that's liable to break across my face at odd moments when I relax. I notice this a lot while I'm out and about, walking to work, doing the shopping. It's less a... Continue Reading →

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