In the way but moving in the right direction

Crazy, wonderful Tuesdays.

Up early for some teaching practice before breakfast. Then a busy day at work including a full-on couple of hours with my boss working through something bogglingly technical together because it was a two-brain problem, my lunchtime spent writing a little story in Sanskrit for my homework, then finally running out of the office (literally!) at the end of the day to get to Sanskrit class. sanskrit 2First class back after a looooong Xmas break PLUS we’re starting a new, slightly more grown-up text book: I was dreading this class! But of course it went just fine. Actually, dear reader, I’ll admit I loved it. A whole hour spent completely absorbed in the sounds and the details of the grammar, linking one bit of old knowledge up with some tiny new revelation that I don’t quite understand yet…. It was just like yoga practice really!!

And after Sanskrit, a short walk to yoga class. So I arrive early and try to find an unobtrusive corner to settle down with my book to review the new vocab. If I do this straight from class I can almost hear my teacher’s voice as I read and that really helps me recall the lesson. But I still got under the feet of my yoga teacher, busy trying to sort stuff out between classes. Roll on summertime when I can sit outside and be less obtrusive in my nerdiness. So I gave up being serious and just chatted to friends, which was nice too.

Right now I’m feeling strangely, wonderfully, full of curiosity and excitement for my practice. I’m still buzzing from convos with my teacher last week that just made me feel much more stable in my funny relationship with yoga, more accepting of the funniness.

So my whole day felt so full of positive, energetic stuff. 🙂

And then class started with a bit of ruckus, threatening my good mood. Nothing heavy, just some squabbling over who wanted to be where in the room. In truth there was some rather uncool unyogic behaviour going on. I shrugged it off and let it unfold, I was holding onto my good vibes like crazy! But the girl next to me was clearly upset. What to do? It’s not my place to resolve these conflicts, it’s not my classroom. So I shut my eyes. La la la, nothing going on here. Except yoga.

So during practice I offered out what I could to those on either side of me: one upset girl and one over-striving ragged-breathing boy. I focussed as strongly as I could on my steady ujjayi. Maybe they needed it? I certainly needed it to help keep me in my body and keep me honest with my unhappy hamstring, not letting my feelings of bouyancy get the better of me and carry me away into painful depth. And of course I had a great practice, moving with this breath. Actually I felt quite helpless, just following along, a touch further towards surrender than I usually allow. It was a beautiful feeling. Oh, I learned something tonight if only I might remember this experience.

And in the changing room afterwards spontaneously from my neighbour: “Thank you, you were great!” I don’t know what I was great at? Perhaps she felt my peace. I hope so. I’ve never really got it before, that bit where the teacher invites you to dedicate your practice to someone else. Well, I guess that’s what I did tonight in a natural kind of way. It felt good for me. I’m glad if I helped her too.

It brought to mind one of the sutras I’ve been considering recently that’s relevant to how we govern our feelings towards others. I wouldn’t claim a citta prasādana, but I did OK today!maitri karuna.jpg

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