I sent out a few written notes of appreciation after my teacher training course. I felt super self-conscious doing this. Not helped by Hubby making some flippant remark about sucking up to the teachers! Uh, I really hoped it wasn’t perceived like that. For myself I just feared it might be seen as overly dutiful — too reminiscent of those childhood moments of being sat down to write a thank you note to auntie so-and-so for your birthday money!
But I did it anyway because I wanted to, because a few lines from my heart on a real piece of paper might have signalled some genuine appreciation and gratitude. Even though it felt like laying myself open to ‘saying the wrong thing’ or appearing naive in my clumsy expressions. But weeks on (or is it months already?!) I’m still blown away not just by the content of what we were offered in TT, but in the manner of it. Watching these humble yoga gods (in my eyes) living their yoga, teaching their yoga, bringing all of themselves into the space for us and sharing what they had. It was an inspiring act. A series of inspiring acts. That in itself taught me so much about what being a teacher might mean, what the use of energy was really about, how to draw the best out of people whilst accepting them as they are, and how to be boldly and honestly a work in progress yet still stand up to lead others.
I mean — wow!
And today and yesterday I got two emails back. Unexpectedly. One of them was simply a joyful acknowledgement of my gesture, the other was a quiet statement of faith that really moved me.
And then my Facebook feed contained a beautiful thank you to me as a teacher from someone I taught tonight.
Sometimes this stuff feels too good. Some days I don’t feel I deserve it. Other days I dare to believe this is what my life might be filled with. Hmm, I guess that’s why last night’s class with a theme about devotion and humility completely undid me. I feel I’m dipping my toe in deep waters and sometimes it’s overwhelming in its possibilities.