A good telling off

I don’t like being told off. “Don’t shout at me” I often say to my husband. “I’m not shouting” he usually retorts and at some volume. He’s from a more adversarial family than I am, whereas when I was a child, we never raised our voices. Ever. Well, I did as a teenager.... But I... Continue Reading →

September 14, 2019 3

Under examination

Remember my Sanskrit exams earlier this year? I wrote at the time about the small support network I gathered around myself as I put myself forward for these exams, feeling very much out of my depth but with a determination just to try and see what came from it. I tried to enjoy the accelerated... Continue Reading →

August 17, 2019 6

Mini me

I spent time this weekend playing in my parents' garden with my little niece. She's four and a half, full of energy and apparently fearless. She loved rolling down the slope where my brother and I used to do the same thing several decades ago. She revelled in doing a run-up to perform multiple forward... Continue Reading →

June 16, 2019 2

My best yoga friend is leaving town

Maybe I didn't present quite as much equanimity as I was aiming for. My teacher called out to me after class as I was unlocking my bike to go home, asking me if I was OK. Of course I'm not OK! My best yoga friend had just announced that she was moving back to her... Continue Reading →

June 8, 2019 2

Old ways, new ways

I got out of town this bank holiday weekend for a workshop plus kirtan. I've kept my yoga experiences pretty close to home for some time now, since my last visit to a new teacher was a bit more than I bargained for. Long story short: it's made me reluctant to leave the safety bubble... Continue Reading →

May 27, 2019 0

Support network

A support network can be really.... well, supportive! I'm not a big one for sharing all the details of my life (anonymous blog, geddit?) and I can in fact go a bit the other way and tend towards isolation in my liking for privacy. Privacy is kind of comfortable; there's no accountability in secrecy, no... Continue Reading →

May 21, 2019 5

Rupture and continuity

One of my best friends nearly died recently. A ruptured appendix, a bungled diagnosis and delayed surgery. I've been visiting her in hospital, feeling helpless in the face of drips, oxygen, and the indignity of surgical gowns. She was weak and confused. I'm not sure she remembered if I'd been with her or not; she... Continue Reading →

May 16, 2019 0

Change is hard

My boss in the office often tells me that change is hard. My yoga teacher tells me the same. Change is the name of the game right now, in both worlds corporate and yoga. And they're right: it is hard! In yoga I am trying my practice a new way. Sure, it might not end... Continue Reading →

April 16, 2019 1

No feeling is final

“Go to the limits of your longing... Let everything happen to you: beauty and terror. Just keep going. No feeling is final” (Rilke) Practice at the moment is an experience of longing. I feel a deep yearning to be more fully with myself, to let go of the past, to feel the reality of the... Continue Reading →

March 18, 2019 0

Telling stories

Telling stories. Telling stories. RE-telling stories I was formally trained to study the past. I used to be an archaeologist. My academic training taught me that there's usually more than one interpretation of the evidence and if you follow the more radical post-modern theories the past is unknowable and all interpretations become equally valid... Death... Continue Reading →