“New year, new you”? No, that’s never been my way! I’m a chronic hater of New Year’s resolutions and that whole vibe of self-improvement. My changes tend to be slower and quieter, more integrated into my general practice rather than listed out in a goal-setting page in a bullet journal.
But this year things are going a bit differently. How did that happen?
In one direction I’m consciously talking in my classes about intention setting, encouraging my students to tune into their values, what they want to feel more of this year, and how their practice might support them simply to remind themselves of that intention but also to provide the environment for creating a new emphasis and then making it happen. Sankalpa (heartfelt intention) rather than new year’s resolution. I like this, I think it’s a helpful way. It feel natural to me and is my safe space.

I am trying to practice what I preach. Even though I spectacularly lost my **** for a couple of weeks and am only just finding my way back…. That’s OK. I’m able to be more compassionate about my wanderings off the path and the natural tendency to groove those samskaras a bit deeper still…
Yet alongside this more subtle work, I’ve also jumped on the cliché of joining a gym in January 🙂 Even worse I’ve committed to a course of personal training sessions, which is taking me far away from my comfort zone. I’m only a third of the way through and I already feel I’ve bitten off more than I wanted to chew.
Or have I? Is that the old me talking? The smaller self that I keep trying to outgrow? I guess time will tell; I lack the perspective or insight to determine if this is a good course of action for me or not.
For now I’m gritting my teeth a bit, squaring up to the new challenge, digging deep. “Keep going, you can doing, one more rep, finish strong….” and all that new pushy parlance of the gym, delivered at pace and loudly, so different from my yoga teacher’s measured tones and the more nuanced experience he encourages on the mat.
This gym work feels so hard. I don’t know whether to laugh or cry… but actually I’m too tired and too hungry after each session to do either 🙂 Self pity is not on the programme!

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