Someone was talking really loudly before class the other night. They were outside the studio door, but their voice carried clearly. I tried to ignore it. I’m breathing. I’m preparing. This is my time. Accept the sounds and then let them go — that’s what I was taught early on in meditation (in an absurdly loud setting, btw, that used to make even the teacher laugh sometimes during practice!). And usually I can do something like this.
But this night I caught the meaning of the words and I inevitably then turned into the sound not away from it. It was a student talking about her current injuries — back, ankle and elbow. And about how stressed she was. She was taking a two week exotic holiday to try to calm down. Why so stressed? Because she’s signed up to the studio’s teacher training course this summer and is practicing really hard to get ready for it.
Arrgh! I had so many reactions to this. None of them were good. And I felt massively intimidated. I have seen this girl practice. She looks stronger than I can ever imagine. And more flexible too. Even although she is currently held together with sticky tape. Why is she worried! Should I be worried too?
So I made a big drama of this to Hubby when I got home. But he refused to indulge me. He reminded me that yoga is not all about āsana, that TT is not about being a showy practitioner, and neither activity is about making comparisons. He also bluntly told me I should expect to be the physically weakest practitioner on the course! Hmm, tough love….
So I tried a girlfriend instead, hoping for greater indulgence and high drama there. No luck again.
So I’d better just get over it. I’m sure if I asked my teacher how to prepare for TT, he would just tell me to carry on with my practice, the ways I do it now. No drama required. Just the quiet virtue of actually doing it, not going on about it.
Oh, yes, I could do that, I suppose.