Until relatively recently I used to watch myself practise and not recognise myself. Who was that strong girl who moved through vinyasas with grace and ease? Where was the girl with dark rings of exhaustion under her eyes, the unwashed hair (simply too much effort), and the cautious movements that anticipated pain and weakness in... Continue Reading →
Storytime
We walked by the river today. A beautiful winter’s day with a blue cloudless sky and discernible warmth from the sun. The footpath was flooded after the recent rain and eventually we had to turn back. Not only was it threatening to wash over the top of my boots, but there was a pull from... Continue Reading →
Soft heart practice
Saturday morning class. An effort to get out of bed and roll across the hallway to where my mat and camera is set up. The strange world of online yoga. Some days it’s difficult to be a student like this; it would be easy not to bother. But I don’t escape my teacher’s eagle eye,... Continue Reading →
Rupture and continuity
One of my best friends nearly died recently. A ruptured appendix, a bungled diagnosis and delayed surgery. I've been visiting her in hospital, feeling helpless in the face of drips, oxygen, and the indignity of surgical gowns. She was weak and confused. I'm not sure she remembered if I'd been with her or not; she... Continue Reading →
In good company
On Friday I went to a family funeral. Difficult occasions always. And always such difficulty is compounded by various day to day circumstances. The inconsequentialities of recent snowy conditions disrupting travel plans, minor illnesses creating anxiety, and also the deeper current of entrenched family dynamics... Such are our human lives, even in the face of... Continue Reading →
Thoughts and blessings
What does it mean to hold someone in your thoughts? I wrote a condolence card to a friend recently, a Christian friend, and I offered some words like this. I couldn't say I was praying for her in her distress and grief since that's not part of my practice but I am holding her in... Continue Reading →
Posing for the camera
Hot on the heels of the afternoon with my artist friend I got an email from my photographer friend. I'd also spent an afternoon of yoga with her a couple of months back. She's not a yogi, but she'd asked if she could photograph me practising at home. I agreed. With a certain sense of fear... Continue Reading →
Deep compassion
I've been avoiding someone from my past life for a while now. They hurt me a lot, in ways I'm only just coming to recognise, let along come to terms with. For the past few months these memories, long suppressed, have come out in my yoga practice. That's my laboratory and place of experimentation. How... Continue Reading →
Photo shoot
In real life I have an IG account and a FB page for my yoga stuff. They existed long before my teaching qualifications: I'm not into self-publicity, I'm not drumming up business or collecting followers, I just like to share thoughts as a way of helping me be a little more present in my own... Continue Reading →
Safe space
I remember early days of yoga class when I felt really intimidated simply by being in the room and I would sit anxiously waiting for class to start, fidgeting mindlessly and half-considering doing a runner to the pub while there was still time to get out. (Nowadays I admit I still often feel this anxiety... Continue Reading →