No feeling is final

“Go to the limits of your longing... Let everything happen to you: beauty and terror. Just keep going. No feeling is final” (Rilke) Practice at the moment is an experience of longing. I feel a deep yearning to be more fully with myself, to let go of the past, to feel the reality of the... Continue Reading →

March 18, 2019 0

A quiet revolution

I saw my physio again today for my rotator cuff injury. We've been working on this together for 5 months or so. I find these appointments really interesting. They become a ground for self-observation as much as āsana practice or meeting with my yoga teacher are. When I first needed physio appointments I was not... Continue Reading →

March 11, 2019 2

Running wild

When I first started Rolfing, my homework was about skipping and leaping, encouraging me to find a bit of joy in simple movements. I did my best, feeling a little foolish, needing to force the movements rather than finding them arising naturally. More recently my Rolfing homework has been about my effervescent ears. Same underlying... Continue Reading →

February 16, 2019 2

Jumping for joy

Rolfing is an odd process. It takes me by surprise over and over: how I feel in my body, what I learn, what I talk about with my Rolfer, and how endlessly wise she seems so me -- yet how subtly she conveys her teaching, through her fingertips and quiet patience with me as much... Continue Reading →

February 9, 2019 2

Posing for the camera

Hot on the heels of the afternoon with my artist friend I got an email from my photographer friend. I'd also spent an afternoon of yoga with her a couple of months back. She's not a yogi, but she'd asked if she could photograph me practising at home. I agreed. With a certain sense of fear... Continue Reading →

September 2, 2018 2

Dormouse yoga

Many years ago my mum gave me a postcard with a picture of a dormouse on it with the message "do not disturb". It was kind of a family joke, the amount of time I spent curled up in bed. Then I was sick and just trying to rest. I couldn't face being part of... Continue Reading →

April 24, 2018 2

One of the crowd

Here’s another Yoga First: in hot vinyasa class recently I deliberately put myself in the front row, the row right in front of the mirrors. 75 minutes of practising about 10cm away from my own reflection. I would usually avoid this position, preferring to hide from myself in the second row. But I’ve been embracing... Continue Reading →

October 22, 2017 8

In medias res

I met a work colleague for lunch today -- we see each other every quarter or so for a chat and something of a mutual check-in. She's the only person with ME that I've ever really talked to. I've always avoided fellow-sufferers. Too ill or too painfully brave to be with easily. She's been doing... Continue Reading →

October 16, 2017 1

Keeping it in the family

I'm realising that when people know you're a trained yoga teacher there are two reactions: they either expect you to 'fix' anything that's ever been wrong with them and assume you live some kind of austere ascetic lifestyle, or there's mistrust and cynicism, doubting that you know anything of any value. I don't think I'm... Continue Reading →

August 3, 2017 3

Grumbles and aches

I'm doing a lot of sweet-talking to my body at the moment, coaxing it to move, to loosen up, to come on a journey with me. All my muscles are hurting, some of them pretty uncomfortable, with old injury points reasserting themselves for no good reason. It's not an excess of practice, I think it's... Continue Reading →