Running away and coming back

First words from the teacher, first breaths on my mat and nothing felt right. I never know how to handle this start to practice, when I just don't jive with what's going on around me and everything feels wrong. In my own practice time I never have a plan to adhere to so I don't... Continue Reading →

August 3, 2018 2

Sorrier namaskar

"Inhale hands to prayer. Make it real" My teacher knows I'm nervous, gives me a breath to settle myself here before I 'show him' my Surya Namaskar A. I know it's not, but it feels like a test. He's standing just on the edge of my field of vision, a safe distance away, an unnerving... Continue Reading →

July 5, 2018 2

If Goldilocks practised yoga

Porridge that's not too hot, not too cold, but just right. A chair that's not too big, not too small, but just right. I reckon if Goldilocks practised yoga, it would be not too forced, not too relaxed -- just the right amount of effort for sthira sukham asanam. My own yoga fairy story is... Continue Reading →

March 10, 2018 4

Snow-ga

I once heard someone say you should never take up yoga if you like a good personal drama, if you're attached to making your life more exciting than it perhaps needs to be, if you actually enjoy getting a bit high on the everyday stresses. I think you'll know what I mean. I can fall... Continue Reading →

March 2, 2018 1

Past life

I took a bit of a trip down memory lane this week. In my past life I was an archaeologist and my old field director was in town for just a few hours giving a seminar in the university. Nearly 20 years ago I was an enthusiastic grad student and he was an up-and-coming lecturer,... Continue Reading →

January 23, 2018 2

One of the crowd

Here’s another Yoga First: in hot vinyasa class recently I deliberately put myself in the front row, the row right in front of the mirrors. 75 minutes of practising about 10cm away from my own reflection. I would usually avoid this position, preferring to hide from myself in the second row. But I’ve been embracing... Continue Reading →

October 22, 2017 8

In medias res

I met a work colleague for lunch today -- we see each other every quarter or so for a chat and something of a mutual check-in. She's the only person with ME that I've ever really talked to. I've always avoided fellow-sufferers. Too ill or too painfully brave to be with easily. She's been doing... Continue Reading →

October 16, 2017 1

First and Last

One first time and one last time today — and I’m pretty happy with both. Maybe I’m getting the hang of this non-perfectionism thing. Or maybe the doubting voices in my head haven’t woken up yet! Whatever... So it was the first time teaching in my workplace gym. A lunchtime session which is now mine... Continue Reading →

October 11, 2017 2

Not (yet)

I got an unsought for lesson in acceptance today. Part of it involved letting go my dislike of city rain. Countryside rain is good: think dramatic cloud-driven skies, damp earthy scents, animal footprints filling up with water on a muddy path... I could go on; I love that. So evocative. City rain on the other hand is all impatient pedestrians seemingly intent... Continue Reading →

November 16, 2016 0

Longing and belonging

We started in Paścimottānāsana. A strange sensation, never an opening pose surely? Brain started to question this, frustrations threatened. How could I be expected to take this shape without any warmup or hip work... But I'm here because I trust the teacher, that he has an idea he's exploring and offering, and who I am... Continue Reading →